I would like to share this with you. My wife's dream world....EXPOSED!

At least 3x a week my wife wakes up and tells me what she'd been dreaming about. I'm usually at work at the time so we do it over IMs. It amazes me that she remembers so much detail while I couldn't even scratch together a general theme mine might have been about.

1/22/10


Wife: First I kept waking up cuz in my head I was trying to keep track of Mormon wives and who had what kid. (We’ve been watching Big Love)

Me: awwww :(

Wife: Then me, mom dad, and the kids spent the night at J’s (ex-husband) brother’s house. Mom, dad, and I went somewhere then somehow I was driving and trying to evade a cop. I succeeded with some Nascar worthy stunts. We got out of the van and went off on foot. When we passed a place holding auditions with a ton of hot blondes outside dad asked me if i knew them &  if they were my friends. I didn’t have the heart to tell him i had no friends.

Wife: Did i mention I was pushing him in a stroller?

Me: uhm

Wife: or that the kids were freaking out in the backyard because they thought they were hearing Satan

Me: holy fuck

Wife: turns out it was a monster truck rally few blocks over

Me: Thats some fucking David Lynch type shit there

Wife: And that I found $150 in my purse and gave it to mom because she’s the one who gave it to me a year before?

Me: no, David Lynch WISHES he had your dreams

Wife: Who the fuck is David Lynch?

Me: Twin peaks guy

Me: makes fucked up movies

Wife:  Well I skipped the part where we woke up at J’s house cuz that seemed NORMAL! (NIGHTMARE)

Wife: OH OH OH!

Me: hehe

Wife: OK so when I “lived” there before I’d had a fish tank setup. The other fish kept picking on this tiger/suckerfish type thing I had so I tried to be merciful and just put him and his lil house on the floor so he’d die instead of suffer over and over.

Wife: Well when I woke in J’s house I looked over and the damn fish was floating around his house up in the air completely alive and cheery

Wife: Not in a Nemo way though, bitch had teeth

Wife: I just watched him floating in the air a while. Then he tried to bite me.

Me: ha!

Me: zomg lady

Wife: it was cool

Wife: it all made perfect sense

Me: thats sum crazy shiot