These are the dreams she wakes up mad from.
Giving me the evil eye for hours afterward.
Since she lost both her tubes to an ectopic pregnancy she's been having baby/pregnancy/kid related dreams.
Since we have 3 kids the kid ones don't bother me.
The pregnant/baby ones do. I don't know what to say to these.
Read on.
1/29/10
Wife: dream time write this down
Me: k
Wife: I amazingly got pregnant not once but twice.
Something went wrong the first time but the 2nd time was going smoothly.
Til you took me to the hospital for "tests" to see how I got pregnant since I have no tubes.
Then you waiting til I was under then authorized a hysterectomy.
Me: wtf!?!?
Wife: i made them run tests for the lawsuit
Wife: was a healthy little girl
Me: what the hell is that shit?
Wife: that's what i was thinking
Me: thats some craziness right there
Wife: needless to say our marriage was over
Me: uhm ya
Wife: My biological clock needs to get with the program.
It's like trying to break up with a super clingy boyfriend.
Tired of these messed up preggie dreams!
Friday, January 29, 2010
I would like to share this with you. My wife's dream world....EXPOSED!
At least 3x a week my wife wakes up and tells me what she'd been dreaming about. I'm usually at work at the time so we do it over IMs. It amazes me that she remembers so much detail while I couldn't even scratch together a general theme mine might have been about.
1/22/10
Wife: First I kept waking up cuz in my head I was trying to keep track of Mormon wives and who had what kid. (We’ve been watching Big Love)
Me: awwww :(
Wife: Then me, mom dad, and the kids spent the night at J’s (ex-husband) brother’s house. Mom, dad, and I went somewhere then somehow I was driving and trying to evade a cop. I succeeded with some Nascar worthy stunts. We got out of the van and went off on foot. When we passed a place holding auditions with a ton of hot blondes outside dad asked me if i knew them & if they were my friends. I didn’t have the heart to tell him i had no friends.
Wife: Did i mention I was pushing him in a stroller?
Me: uhm
Wife: or that the kids were freaking out in the backyard because they thought they were hearing Satan
Me: holy fuck
Wife: turns out it was a monster truck rally few blocks over
Me: Thats some fucking David Lynch type shit there
Wife: And that I found $150 in my purse and gave it to mom because she’s the one who gave it to me a year before?
Me: no, David Lynch WISHES he had your dreams
Wife: Who the fuck is David Lynch?
Me: Twin peaks guy
Me: makes fucked up movies
Wife: Well I skipped the part where we woke up at J’s house cuz that seemed NORMAL! (NIGHTMARE)
Wife: OH OH OH!
Me: hehe
Wife: OK so when I “lived” there before I’d had a fish tank setup. The other fish kept picking on this tiger/suckerfish type thing I had so I tried to be merciful and just put him and his lil house on the floor so he’d die instead of suffer over and over.
Wife: Well when I woke in J’s house I looked over and the damn fish was floating around his house up in the air completely alive and cheery
Wife: Not in a Nemo way though, bitch had teeth
Wife: I just watched him floating in the air a while. Then he tried to bite me.
Me: ha!
Me: zomg lady
Wife: it was cool
Wife: it all made perfect sense
Me: thats sum crazy shiot
1/22/10
Wife: First I kept waking up cuz in my head I was trying to keep track of Mormon wives and who had what kid. (We’ve been watching Big Love)
Me: awwww :(
Wife: Then me, mom dad, and the kids spent the night at J’s (ex-husband) brother’s house. Mom, dad, and I went somewhere then somehow I was driving and trying to evade a cop. I succeeded with some Nascar worthy stunts. We got out of the van and went off on foot. When we passed a place holding auditions with a ton of hot blondes outside dad asked me if i knew them & if they were my friends. I didn’t have the heart to tell him i had no friends.
Wife: Did i mention I was pushing him in a stroller?
Me: uhm
Wife: or that the kids were freaking out in the backyard because they thought they were hearing Satan
Me: holy fuck
Wife: turns out it was a monster truck rally few blocks over
Me: Thats some fucking David Lynch type shit there
Wife: And that I found $150 in my purse and gave it to mom because she’s the one who gave it to me a year before?
Me: no, David Lynch WISHES he had your dreams
Wife: Who the fuck is David Lynch?
Me: Twin peaks guy
Me: makes fucked up movies
Wife: Well I skipped the part where we woke up at J’s house cuz that seemed NORMAL! (NIGHTMARE)
Wife: OH OH OH!
Me: hehe
Wife: OK so when I “lived” there before I’d had a fish tank setup. The other fish kept picking on this tiger/suckerfish type thing I had so I tried to be merciful and just put him and his lil house on the floor so he’d die instead of suffer over and over.
Wife: Well when I woke in J’s house I looked over and the damn fish was floating around his house up in the air completely alive and cheery
Wife: Not in a Nemo way though, bitch had teeth
Wife: I just watched him floating in the air a while. Then he tried to bite me.
Me: ha!
Me: zomg lady
Wife: it was cool
Wife: it all made perfect sense
Me: thats sum crazy shiot
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